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The Empathy Gap in Software Engineering


Helping you learn practical, straightforward methods to boost your soft skills and enhance your career as a software engineer.


Weekly Newsletter

February 25th, 2025

Empathy isn’t a skill most software engineers focus on.

We entered the field because we love solving problems, working with data, and building things. We’re trained to be analytical, logical, and precise. But software development isn’t just about writing code.

We work with teammates, collaborate with stakeholders, and build products for users. Relying only on data and logic makes it easy to overlook the people behind the software. Empathy, the ability to understand and share the feelings of others, helps us bridge this gap.

Engineers who develop empathy communicate better, collaborate more effectively, and build products that truly meet user needs. It’s a skill that improves the way we work and the impact we have.

Why Empathy Matters in Software Teams

Software engineering has always been about solving problems, but the most significant challenges aren’t always technical. Miscommunication slows down projects. Misaligned expectations create frustration. A lack of user understanding leads to products that don’t solve the right problems.

Empathy improves teamwork by making interactions more productive. It helps us listen better, provide more useful feedback, and navigate disagreements with a shared sense of purpose.

It also improves user experience. Technical specs outline what to build, but empathy helps us understand why. Seeing the product through the eyes of a first-time user reveals pain points that raw data may not highlight.

Software engineers who develop empathy make more informed decisions, work better with others, and create software that genuinely solves problems.

How to Develop Empathy

Empathy isn’t an innate trait—it’s a skill that can be practiced and improved. The key is shifting from focusing solely on solutions to understanding the people behind them. Here are a few ways to strengthen your empathy as a software engineer:

1. Listen with Intent

Instead of focusing on what to say next, focus on understanding. Ask clarifying questions and acknowledge the concerns of others before offering a solution.

2. Step Into the User’s Shoes

Use the product the way a first-time user would. Pay attention to what feels confusing or frustrating. This perspective helps identify problems that technical teams might not notice.

3. Observe How Others Respond

Not everyone expresses their thoughts directly. A hesitant response or a vague comment in a meeting might indicate uncertainty or disagreement. Pay attention to non-verbal cues and follow up when something seems unclear.

4. Consider the Impact of Your Decisions

Every decision affects someone—whether it’s a teammate maintaining your code or a customer using your product. Before making a change, ask yourself how it will impact the people involved.

Small changes in how we listen, communicate, and think about others can make a big difference in our work.

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Balancing Empathy with Data

Empathy and data actually complement each other. Data measures outcomes, but empathy helps interpret those outcomes and take meaningful action. Knowing when to prioritize each leads to better decision-making.

When to Use Data

Use data to track trends, measure performance, and identify technical issues. If user engagement drops, metrics can highlight where the problem is happening.

When to Use Empathy

Data shows patterns, but it doesn’t always explain why they happen. A high abandonment rate in a checkout flow might suggest a problem, but talking to users reveals whether the issue is frustration, confusion, or something else entirely.

How to Use Both Together

Metrics pinpoint where problems exist, and empathy helps uncover their root causes. Engineers who use both make better decisions, ensuring that technical improvements align with real user needs.


Empathy strengthens communication, improves collaboration, and helps create better software. Software engineers who practice empathy consistently become more effective in their roles and build stronger relationships with teammates and users.

The best way to develop empathy is through small, intentional actions. Listen carefully in conversations, think about how your work impacts others, and make an effort to understand different perspectives.

Strong technical skills are essential, but engineers who combine them with empathy bring more value to their teams and build better products.

How do you practice empathy in your work? Reply and let me know.

David Ziemann

Founder of MoreThanCoders.com
david@morethancoders.com

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The Weekly Gist

Learn practical, straightforward methods to boost your soft skills and enhance your career as a software engineer because you are so much more than a developer.

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