It's Okay to Say "I Don't Know"
A few days ago, a colleague approached me with an urgent need for help with a telemetry project he was working on. It quickly became clear that my knowledge of the subject was much shallower than I'd realized. Instead of simply admitting, "I don't know," I tried to guide them with vague suggestions, half-formed ideas, and hopeful guesses. You can imagine how well that went.
I wasted their time. And, more importantly, undermined their trust.
Why is it so difficult to admit we don't have all the answers? As professionals, especially in tech, we're expected to be experts. The fear of losing credibility can feel overwhelming, pushing us into corners where we'd rather bluff our way through than say those three uncomfortable words: "I don't know."
But I've learned that embracing uncertainty is a powerful act of strength and authenticity. Saying "I don't know" isn't admitting defeat; it invites deeper learning, more transparent communication, and stronger trust.
Today, I want to talk about how to comfortably and confidently admit when you're unsure, without compromising your credibility. Because being honest about your limits doesn't make you less competent—it makes you someone worth trusting.
The Cost of Faking Expertise
When my colleague asked about telemetry, I immediately felt pressure to deliver valuable insights. Rather than pausing to reflect on my limitations, I chose confidence over clarity, offering generic advice that lacked genuine substance.
Instead of helping, I made things worse. My colleague left confused, probably frustrated, and without any helpful direction. By attempting to preserve my image as an "expert," I actually damaged my reputation. My fear of admitting uncertainty directly created the outcome I wanted to avoid: losing credibility.
This isn't a unique experience. We've all been in situations where uncertainty tempts us to guess or bluff. But each time we do, we risk more than just temporary embarrassment—we erode trust and respect, the very foundations of professional relationships.
What Happens When You Don't Have All the Answers?
There's a powerful irony in admitting uncertainty: the very act we fear might weaken others' trust in us often strengthens it instead.
When you confidently admit what you don't know, you communicate honesty and self-awareness. You show you're secure enough to prioritize accuracy and learning over immediate appearances. This humility is refreshing—especially in tech, where false certainty can lead to costly errors.
More importantly, openly admitting your limits creates psychological safety. It gives your team implicit permission to do the same, fostering a culture where people freely share knowledge gaps and collaborate more effectively to fill them.
People trust others who value truth over ego.
The willingness to say "I don't know" is a mark of maturity, integrity, and genuine competence.
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How to Say "I Don't Know"
Admitting uncertainty doesn't have to be awkward. In fact, it can be straightforward and professional. Here are a few simple ways you can confidently communicate "I don't know":
Acknowledge and Commit to Action:
"That's a great question. I'm not sure of the answer right now, but I'll find out and follow up with you."
Prioritize Accuracy Over Speed:
"I'm not confident enough in my knowledge to answer accurately. Let me double-check and get back to you."
Redirect to Expertise:
"That's outside my area of expertise, but I know someone who would have a clearer perspective. Let me connect you with them."
Each approach clearly communicates two things: you value accuracy and respect the person's time. By showing this respect, you reinforce your credibility—even when you don't immediately have all the answers.
Next Steps After You Admit You Don't Have the Answers
Admitting you don't know isn't the end of a conversation. Here's how to use uncertainty to deepen trust and credibility even further:
- Follow Through Quickly: If you promised to find an answer, prioritize it. Prompt follow-up demonstrates reliability and care.
- Share What You Learned: When you return with the information, share how you found it or what you learned in the process. It shows commitment and turns uncertainty into growth.
- Create Connections: If you've redirected to someone else, check back later to see how things went. This strengthens relationships and creates genuine collaboration.
Taking these extra steps transforms uncertainty from a potential weakness into a professional strength. It demonstrates your ability to learn, be accountable, and show leadership.
Every time you confidently say, "I don't know," you give your colleagues implicit permission to do the same. This way, authenticity spreads, trust deepens, and communication improves across your team.
So here's my challenge for you this week:
The next time you're faced with a question that catches you off-guard, resist the urge to guess. Pause, acknowledge your uncertainty clearly, and follow up with real information when you have it. Notice how this honesty affects both your interactions and your relationships.
By modeling openness, you build trust and help shape a culture where authenticity and continuous learning are celebrated.