How to Make the Most of Your 1:1s
Most engineers treat 1:1s like a check-in. A few updates, maybe a blocker or two, and that's it.
The reality is your manager doesn't have full visibility into your work. They're in meetings all day, managing shifting priorities, and helping coordinate with other teams.
They don't know what decisions you unblocked. They don't know the context you added in Slack. They probably missed the fix you shipped that kept a customer from churning.
That's why 1:1s exist—to close the gap between what you're actually doing and what your manager sees. So, how can you ensure you're making the most of your one-on-ones?
1. Communicate Your Impact
If you don't surface how you are driving progress, there's a good chance no one else will.
Use your 1:1 to highlight work your manager might not be tracking:
- Recent wins. Share what shipped, why it mattered, and what improved because of it.
- Team impact. Mention where you unblocked others, handled handoffs, or made the system easier to work with.
- Anecdotes and feedback. If someone praises your work, or if you step into a tricky situation and achieve a result—bring it in.
Keep it short. Just enough to connect your work to outcomes. A quick sentence or two is often enough to show that you're working hard and focused on the right things.
Make this easy on yourself: maintain a running doc of your work. Update it weekly. Refer to it before each 1:1. That alone can raise the quality of your conversations.
2. Come Prepared
A 1:1 without any preparation tends to drift. You'll get vague updates, shallow questions, and missed opportunities to showcase your work.
Spend five minutes before the meeting & write down the answers to the following:
- What's gone well?
- What' hasn't gone well?
- What would you like feedback or input on?
That becomes your agenda.
For better answers and a one-on-one that actually gets traction, send those topics to your manager in advance. Even a short Slack message can shift the conversation from reactive to thoughtful.
Some people also use a shared 1:1 doc. It doesn't need to be fancy—just a place to track topics, follow-ups, and notes over time. It helps keep things focused and consistent.
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3. Make Time for Discussing Career Growth
If you never discuss your career growth in 1:1s, it won't happen anywhere else. You don't need a complete action plan. But you do need to speak up when you want more.
Here are some phrases you can use in your next 1 on 1:
"I'd like to work on something with more technical depth."
"What would you need to see before I'm ready for promotion?"
"How am I doing outside my core responsibilities? Is there anything I need to work on?"
Your goal is to provide clarity and get some actionable feedback.
Let your manager know what matters to you. That gives them a reason to advocate for you, assign you the right projects, or give you the right feedback.
The engineers who grow the fastest tend to treat their 1:1s differently. They use this time as an opportunity to advocate for themselves, showcase their work, and establish a relationship with their manager.
There are 3 steps to make this happen:
- Make your work visible. Don't rely on someone else to connect the dots.
- Lead the agenda. Show up prepared with questions and priorities.
- Talk about career growth. Don't wait for review season to find out where you stand.
What's one thing you'll do differently in your next 1:1?
Reply and let me know—I read every response.